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Ready for divorce? Talk to your spouse first

Before people get a divorce, there are usually questions and signs that there is trouble in the relationship. If you've ever talked to someone who got a divorce, he or she will be quick to tell you the moment he or she knew the relationship was over. They can tell you the factors that made their decisions for them.

While some people encourage open discussion to talk about your issues, others find that it's impossible to break through their spouse's distain or resentment. It's important to talk to your spouse if you can before you have a discussion about divorce. Talk about the issues in your relationship and what, if anything, you can do to resolve them.

When you talk to your spouse, remember not to rush the conversation. You need to address problems without becoming defensive or aggressive toward the other person. If you're unable to do so, consider going to marriage counseling or mediation, so you can discuss your issues with a third party present.

If you find that no matter what you suggest to your spouse, he or she doesn't want to participate, you may want to have a talk about the possibility of divorce. Sometimes, this is enough to spur a spouse who wasn't thinking about a divorce into discussion. Other times, it opens up a discussion about what is likely the right path for the relationship.

Whether you want to get a divorce or just want to have better communication with your spouse, you need to start asking what you can do to resolve the problems in your relationship now.

Source:, "Are You Really Ready for Divorce? The 8 Questions You Need to Ask," Bruce Derman, accessed Nov. 21, 2017

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